Give and Receive as if It’s the Thought That Counts
According to legend, a desert wanderer discovered a spring of cool, crystal-clear water. It tasted so good, he filled a leather container with the precious liquid so he could bring it to the king. After a long journey, he presented his gift to the king, who drank it with great pleasure and lavishly thanked the wanderer, who went away with a happy heart.
The king’s son tasted the water and spit it out. It had picked up the smell of the old leather canteen and had become foul. The boy asked his father why he pretended to like the awful-tasting water. The king said, “Son, that man gave me a gift from his heart. It wasn’t the water I enjoyed; it was the sweet taste of his generosity. When someone gives you something with genuine love, the thing given is simply the container. The real gift is the thought inside.”
The wisdom of the king’s insight is best experienced when we get a gift from a child who loves us. Whether it’s a ceramic tray, a macaroni pin, or a crayon drawing, the purity of the child’s sweet intentions generates a form of joy we call gratitude.
Yet in most other settings we receive gifts without experiencing genuine appreciation. Consequently, our “thank yous” are simply ritualistic courtesies. One reason is we’re conditioned to value gifts based on their cost. Another is that gifts are often given to meet an obligation or as a form of investment rather than as expressions of generous affection.
Wouldn’t the holidays be so more joyous if we gave and received gifts as if they really were the thought that counts?
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. The “What Will Matter” Poem
Here’s a riddle: You can hardly ever find it anymore — especially in politics or business. Lots of schools don’t teach it anymore. We want more of it in our children and in all the adults who interact with them. We want it from our bosses and the people who fix our cars. And most of us believe we have plenty of it.
What I’m talking about is character — or, more precisely, good character. So, what is character?
Technically, character is a morally neutral term describing the nature of a person in terms of major qualities. So everyone, from iconic scoundrels like Hitler and saints like Mother Teresa, have a character.
In most situations, however, when we are talking about a person’s character we are referring to the sum total of his or her moral qualities: is she a good person or bad person, is he worthy of trust and admiration or not.
Yet in most other settings we receive gifts without experiencing genuine appreciation. Consequently, our “thank yous” are simply ritualistic courtesies. One reason is we’re conditioned to value gifts based on their cost. Another is that gifts are often given to meet an obligation or as a form of investment rather than as expressions of generous affection.
Wouldn’t the holidays be so more joyous if we gave and received gifts as if they really were the thought that counts?
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts. The “What Will Matter” Poem
Abraham Lincoln was very concerned with character, but he also was aware of the importance of having a good reputation. He explained the difference this way: “Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” Put another way, your reputation is what people think of you, your character is what you actually are.
In a world preoccupied with image, it’s easy to worry too much about our reputation and too little about our character. Building a reputation is largely a public relations project; building character requires us to focus on our values and actions. Noble rhetoric and good intentions aren’t enough.”
What we’re looking for is moral strength based on ethical principles. Character is revealed by actions, not words, especially when there’s a gap between what we want to do and what we should do, and when doing the right thing costs more than we want to pay.
Our character is revealed by how we deal with pressures and temptations. But it’s also disclosed by everyday actions, including what we say and do when we think no one is looking and we won’t get caught. The way we treat people we think can’t help or hurt us, like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries, tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. People who are honest, kind, and fair only when there is something to gain shouldn’t be confused with people of real character who demonstrate these qualities habitually, under all circumstances.
Character is not a fancy coat we put on for show; it’s who we really are.
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts.
The “What Will Matter” Poem
As you consider your goals for the New Year, I hope you’ll think about working on your character. No, you’re not too old and I don’t mean to imply you’re a bad person. As I’ve said often, “you don’t have to be sick to get better.” In fact, it’s a lot easier to make a good person better than a bad person good.
The struggle to be better takes place during our daily choices.
People of exceptional character stand out from the crowd because they develop the wisdom and strength to know and do the right thing in the face of pressures and temptations to do otherwise.
There are seven core qualities I call the Seven Cs of character: conscience, compassion, consideration, confidence, control, courage, and competence.
CONSCIENCE. Your conscience is your moral compass. Take care of it. Use it. Trust it.
COMPASSION. Nurture, express and demonstrate compassion by caring about, giving to and helping whomever you can, whenever you can in all ways that you can.
CONSIDERATION. Be considerate. Always be aware of how your words and actions affect others so you can do more good and less harm.
CONFIDENCE. Approach every opportunity and challenge with confidence that you are worthy enough and able enough to succeed. Never doubt your inner strength to overcome temptations, difficulties and misfortunes with honor and dignity.
COURAGE. Protect who you are and what you believe with courage. Master your fears and preserve your integrity by doing what you know is right even if costs more than you want to pay.
CONTROL. Control the emotions, urges and appetites that demean you, damage your name or diminish your future.
COMPETENCE. Continually build your competence, the knowledge, skill and ability to ethically and effectively solve problems
Great summation of what character is about. I wish more people are aware of them and consciously practise the principles. The world would be a much better place for it
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts!
The “What Will Matter” Poem
As you consider your goals for the New Year, I hope you’ll think about working on your character. No, you’re not too old and I don’t mean to imply you’re a bad person. As I’ve said often, “you don’t have to be sick to get better.” In fact, it’s a lot easier to make a good person better than a bad person good.
The struggle to be better takes place during our daily choices.
People of exceptional character stand out from the crowd because they develop the wisdom and strength to know and do the right thing in the face of pressures and temptations to do otherwise.
There are seven core qualities I call the Seven Cs of character: conscience, compassion, consideration, confidence, control, courage, and competence.
CONSCIENCE. Your conscience is your moral compass. Take care of it. Use it. Trust it.
COMPASSION. Nurture, express and demonstrate compassion by caring about, giving to and helping whomever you can, whenever you can in all ways that you can.
CONSIDERATION. Be considerate. Always be aware of how your words and actions affect others so you can do more good and less harm.
CONFIDENCE. Approach every opportunity and challenge with confidence that you are worthy enough and able enough to succeed. Never doubt your inner strength to overcome temptations, difficulties and misfortunes with honor and dignity.
COURAGE. Protect who you are and what you believe with courage. Master your fears and preserve your integrity by doing what you know is right even if costs more than you want to pay.
CONTROL. Control the emotions, urges and appetites that demean you, damage your name or diminish your future.
COMPETENCE. Continually build your competence, the knowledge, skill and ability to ethically and effectively solve problems
Great summation of what character is about. I wish more people are aware of them and consciously practise the principles. The world would be a much better place for it
This is Michael Josephson reminding you that character counts!
The “What Will Matter” Poem
http://whatwillmatter.com/about/the-poem/
http://whatwillmatter.com/category/commentary/
blog entry with audio.
What Is Character?
http://whatwillmatter.com/about/the-poem/
The Nature of Character
http://whatwillmatter.com/about/the-poem/
The Seven Cs of Character
The Seven Cs of Character
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